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> Rita Rudner
1-10 Quotations of
42
Rita Rudner quotes
American
Writer
and
Comedian
, b.
1955
Miami, Florida, USA
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“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”
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“We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.”
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“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
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“I don't plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet”
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“I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.”
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“Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.”
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“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?”
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“Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid.”
sonovabich
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“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”
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“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”
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