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I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.
”
Missy6128
Ellen DeGeneres quotes
(
American
Actress
and stand-up
Comedian
, b.
1958
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away.
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Missy6128
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I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
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“
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
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“
"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
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Missy6128
Ellen DeGeneres quotes
(
American
Actress
and stand-up
Comedian
, b.
1958
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
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American
Actress
and stand-up
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1958
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“
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
”
Missy6128
Ellen DeGeneres quotes
(
American
Actress
and stand-up
Comedian
, b.
1958
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“
Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a relationship. We're the only ones with family. You know, I think that if you kill a spider, there is a relationship that you're ruining. There's a conversation going on outside with the other spiders. 'Did you hear about Chris?....Killed yeah....Sneaker. And now Stephanie has nine hundred babies to raise all alone. Well, she's got her legs full I'll tell you that right now. Chris was so kind, wouldn't hurt a fly. It's just been tough for them lately. They just lost their web last week. Those humans think they're so smart. Let them try shooting silk out of their butt and see what they can make.'
”
Missy6128
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American
Actress
and stand-up
Comedian
, b.
1958
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“
"I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."
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Missy6128
Ellen DeGeneres quotes
(
American
Actress
and stand-up
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1958
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“
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
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American
Actress
and stand-up
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1958
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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Animals quotes
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“
"I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all I want. I don't want the tartar and I don't want the cavaties. And I want white teeth. How come I have to choose? And then they have the 'Colgate Total' that supposedly has everything in there. I don't believe that for one second. If it's all in the one, how come they make all the others? Who's going: "I don't mind the tartar so much."?"
”
Missy6128
Ellen DeGeneres quotes
(
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Actress
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Comedian
, b.
1958
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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