Thinkexist Quotations

My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotation:

“[Mock singing] “And shall my sword sleep in my hand…” [Speaking] “NOT a good idea, you’re gonna roll over and cut your bits off.””

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

About: Comedy quotes.

Add to Chapter...

1-10 Quotations of 67

Users who liked this quote also liked:

“I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree then prehaps I should, so that other giraffes may die”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can
swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be
banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you.
That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in
the distance.”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“'ello, Sue. I've got legs. Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. Bye! I love you”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, “Oh, my God! What haven’t I…? Rwanda! I better create Rwanda! Sorry, haven’t quite done that… The Tower of Pisa! Oh, it’s leaning… Oh, shi… done! Toilets in French camping sites… there we go. English football hooligans… there we go, whatever that is… Mrs. Thatcher’s heart… there we go… oh, fuck that! I know, I’ll put a stone in, that’ll work! There we go…”

The next week, I think, people are coming back, going,
“Rwanda doesn’t work very well; infrastructure’s fucked.””

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes. About: God quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house
arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged
seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it
is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler
killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't
stand for that, will we?”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“But then the Roman Empire fell like this- "oh shit". And we went into
what the historians called the Stupid Fucker period. Where everyone
was going -"er, I dunno. Is that a Roman road? Can we eat it?" Then
there was the dark Ages. " I can't even see you! Where are you?"”

Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

Suggested

> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes

ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016