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I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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Internet quotes
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“
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other...
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.
”
santiz
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years most of the manuals shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King's The Stand with new covers pasted on.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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