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“My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Travel quotes, Funny quotes, Language quotes, America and Americans quotes, Comedy quotes.

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“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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