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“Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.”

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21-30 Quotations of 1391

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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”

Alexai Sayle quotes

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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.”

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“There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't”

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“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.

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“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.”

Benny Hill quotes (English Comedian and Humorist, 1924-1992)

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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”

Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)

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“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure”

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“I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.”

Michael Davis quotes

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