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Quotation:
“
Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.
”
Mitch Hedberg quotes
(
American
Comedian
,
1968
-
2005
)
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Self-Awareness quotes
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11-20 Quotations of
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
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If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable...
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I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
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I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
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“
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
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“
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
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“
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
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“
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...
”
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“
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
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“
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
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