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“Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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31-40 Quotations of 279

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“While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Football quotes, Funny quotes.

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“The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Government quotes.

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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Washington is nicknamed "The Evergreen State" because it sounds better than "The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State."”

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Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Arguments quotes, People quotes.

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“Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Electricity quotes.

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“One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Time quotes, Technology quotes.

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