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“The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

Henry Kissinger quotes (American Political scientist. b.1923)

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“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”

Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)

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“They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.”

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“According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars”

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