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“What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Fear quotes.

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