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“And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes, Scientists quotes.

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“Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Mankind quotes, Inventions quotes, History quotes.

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“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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