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“And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other...”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Popularity quotes.

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“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Arguments quotes, People quotes.

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