Thinkexist Quotations

My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotation:

“Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Add to Chapter...

31-40 Quotations of 191

Users who liked this quote also liked:

“I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes, Comedy quotes, silly quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I wrote a script for a guy, and he said he liked it but he thought that I need to rewrite it. I said, Screw that, I'll just make a copy.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Swiss Cheese is a rip-off! It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss!”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9? I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I went to see a band in New York. The lead singer got on the microphone, and he said How many of you people feel like human beings tonight? Then he said How many of you feel like animals? And everyone cheered after the animals part. But the thing is, I cheered after the human being part because I did not know that there was a second part to the question.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes. About: New York quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.”

Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)

Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Comedy quotes, Laziness quotes.

Add to Chapter...

Suggested

> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes

ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016