Thinkexist Quotations

My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotation:

“I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

21-30 Quotations of 581

Users who liked this quote also liked:

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Dogs quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Work quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“It is a well-known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”

Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

Albert Einstein quotes (German born American Physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. 1879-1955)

Similar Quotes. About: Cute quotes, Cute love quotes, Love quotes, Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes.

Add to Chapter...

Suggested

> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes

ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016